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All items from April 2007

21 Apr 2007 : With Every HeartBeat #
Kleerup and RobynI felt rubbish this morning, but my day was saved by a beautiful piece of music. So much of the time, music seems to be in the background. It's so rare that you hear a song that's so powerful that you can't help but give in to its effect on your emotions. There's a track called "Last Night a DJ Saved My Life," and every so often, I can understand it. Ironically, this track doesn't hold much power, but it has its truth nonetheless.
The music I heard today was called "With Every HeartBeat" by Kleerup and Robyn. It stopped me in my tracks and I swear I stopped breathing for the 4 minutes the track played.
Later I listed to "Be Mine," also by Robyn. It's another beautiful, if equally tragic, track. When you're not feeling too great they're utterly self indulgent. And beautiful. And somehow helpful.
14 Apr 2007 : A walk in the park #
Kirkdale skyline
I went for a walk around the neighbourhood this evening. It's amazing how warm it is. The air is completely still and although it's not been sunny all day, the air is hot but not humid. It's a very unusual combination for around here at this time of year. It's especially surprising that it's so warm in the evening. It's now nearly 10pm and I have the windows fully open as I sit in my study. The temperature in here is the same as it is outside and it feels just perfect. Like a mediterranean evening.
So I went for a walk because it's wonderfully warm and I'd not yet been outside today, but mostly because I find the industrial area that we live in to be utterly mesmerising at night. The huge great industrial storage drums and buildings. They sit, looking both alive and silent at night like sleeping giants. Some of them have glistening lights whereas others are just dark looming silhouettes against the night sky. We're near the docks, which is an important part of the magic, because it feels like a space port or space station. Technological, but also grimy and real.
I didn't feel safe walking around the neighbourhood. There were few people around and I was on my own. There was some noise because the only people around at 9:30pm on a Saturday evening in this part of town are kids. Kids are intimidating and I walked past a couple of gangs of kids, which felt a bit uncomfortable. But they didn't actually cause any trouble at all. Just walked straight past.
We don't live in what could be called a nice part of town, although I find it okay. So I wonder whether it really is a dangerous or scary place to be. I'm sure almost all of the fear I experienced was self inflicted. I suppose by definition all of fear is self inflicted, but what I mean is that it's almost certainly entirely unnecessary. But in spite of reminding myself this I couldn't get it out of my mind. I wonder whether there really is something to fear? Lots of people say that it's a modern phenomenon, but I'm sure walking around industrial areas has always been scary. "Everyday do something that scares you." This is so important. It wasn't the reason for my walk, and I hope over the next few months the weather is such that I can do it more often. Part of the reason for doing scary things is realising that there's no need for the fear. I'm not entirely convinced just yet, but I'm glad I had the walk nonetheless.
Another Kirkdale skyline